Why Gars aren't in SSBB
by Not-Going-To-Tell
Summary: GaoGaiGar plus SSBB plus Stupid standard plot equals overkill? Yes it does. A stupid oneshot made at one in the morning. And so you know, a Gar is a manly man, like mazinger pilots, Zengar Zonbolt, or the character in here.
1. Chapter 1

Why Gars aren't in SSBB

AN: Crack time. SSBB meets Genesic GaoGaiGar. I don't own. Have fun.

GGG

Another day in the smash mansion, another group of people the hands were introducing for lots of cash. This time it was a young man somewhere around 10, wearing a black and white body suit and a yellow vest. He had a mane of red hair flowing down to his waist, and had blue eyes, the kind that made you want to yell at the top of your lungs after only seeing them. He stood before a panel of experts (aka. The smashers with nothing better to do), consisting of Mario, Fox, Samus, Link, Mewtwo, Captain Falcon and Ness.

Mario began the interview. "So, who are you-a, and what-a are you from-a?" he said, in the overly stereotypical Italian way of speaking.

The young man spoke without hesitation. " I am the superhuman Evoluder, Guy Shishioh, from anime series GaoGaiGar."

The thought 'bloated ego' swept through the smashers. Ness was the next to speak. "What abilities can you bring to the table for Smash Bros Brawl?"

"Well, I can transform into a cyborg and fight better, and my final smash easily beats any of yours." Guy replied.

"We'll see about that, kid! Get in the arena and show us your moves!" shouted Capt. Falcon. He, Link and Samus were chosen as the smashers that would 'show him the ropes' around the mansion, and the arena.

Choosing the battlefield stage for the battle, the combatants got into position, Samus and Falcon on the mid tier, Link on top, and Guy on the bottom level. Before the hands, who were refereeing, could start the match, Guy held up his left hand, glowing with a stylized 'G', and yelled at the top of his voice, a single word, "EEEEEEEQQQQQQQQUUUUUIIIIIIIPPPP!!!!!". pieces of armour circled him for a few seconds before they flew at him, forming a golden set of body armour, including a ridiculous headpiece with a single green piece of glass covering one eye. Samus voiced a complaint to the hands that she was the only one that was allowed to have armour, to which the hands said that Guy had signed up to fight in armour, so it was perfectly legal.

Seconds later the match began, a hectic battle that was to generic to be described, except that guy would occasionally use a glowing green blade called the 'will knife' to counter Link's swordplay. That is until the smash ball dropped. Through some miracle, Guy managed to make it to the treasured orb first, and quickly grabbed onto it. An echoing cry of "YYOOOOSSHHHHH! FINAL FUUUSSSIIOOOONNN!!" tore through the stage, drowning out all the other clamour. With that, Guy jumped off the back of the stage and disappeared from sight. The other smashers were on their guards, having experience with other indirect fighters like the pokemon trainer.

However, they didn't expect a giant black robot with a lion head in the middle of it's chest to rise from the darkness. They thought that it would likely just take a swipe or two at them, and they would be safe.

Were they ever wrong. Further away from the fighting field, a large orange hammer descended. From where falcon and the rest were, it looked like it was around the size of the robot. Then the robot flew towards it.

And got smaller.

And smaller.

And smaller still.

Eventually it was only a speck, but one with a mighty voice, because "Crusher Connect" was heard even at that distance.

The smashers unanimously started to worry when the top of the hammer opened up, separating into eight different pieces, each forming a corner of a gigantic rectangular prism of light that made even the original hammer look tiny. The robot apparently reared back, because the hammer leaned away from them. Then they learned the attack's name, as Guy yelled "GOLDION CRRUUUUSSHHHEEERRRR!"

Before they were sent to re-spawn land, the trio heard a very loud "HIKARI NI NAREEEEEE!!!"

The game was then called due to lack of stage.

GGG

Ending note: An hour to throw together, between one and two in the morning. If you would be so kind, please leave a comment on your way out. I'm going to rest my anime fried brain now.


	2. Chapter 2

A second chapter? Am I out of my mind? Maybe...

GGG

It had been several months since the 'black robot incident', and all was as usual at the Smash mansion. The Captain was showing off, the Pokemon (except mewtwo and Lucario, of course) were frolicking, the children were playing, Snake was using his stealth skills for perverted reasons, and the plumbers were doing things that really weren't in their job descriptions.

Well, everything except Link. Recently he had locked himself away from the rest of the smashers, not speaking a word or even leaving his room for a moment. St this point the others were getting extremely worried. Well, some of them were, and those who were had gathered to get him out.

"Link, my friend," began Ike, the stronger blue haired swordsman began, "you really need to get outside. If you stay in there any longer your edge will begin to get rusty."

"He's right Link, you should come out for some air, at least." Said one of Link's close allies, Princess Zelda. "If not for your sake, than for ours."

"Seriously, you're out emoing _**MARTH **_for God's sake..." Said Sonic the Hedgehog.

The door opened, showing the three Link, no worse for the wear, although he was giving Sonic a nasty glare. "I wasn't 'emoing', I was getting to know my ancestry."

"Whatever, just glad you're okay."

"I'm glad you're feeling well."

"Just between us swordsmen, I think Ganondorf is looking to fight you."

"Thanks, I really need to pummel something."

GGG

A one on one fight on Final Destination was generally considered to be two things. The first was a test of skills. With nothing but two fighters and only the occasional smash ball on a flat platform, it was perfect for mortal combat. It was also considered fairly boring, with nothing spicing it up. In this case it was considered the former, simply because the rivalry between the two combatants promised fierce battle.

"Hmph, Link, do you really think you can defeat me, Link?" Asked Ganondorf.

"If we counted all the times one of me has beaten you in Hyrule, you'd be out of stock already."

"Insolent pest, I'll crush you!" With that little exchange of taunts the two rushed forward to combat. The blows came hard and fast, almost like a dance. It was almost as if---

Okay, let's just get to the part that we're all here for, alright?

A minute and a half later both of the combatants were on their last legs. It was at that moment that a smash ball decided to pop into existence. Ganondorf made the first move, launching a flying punch., the force of which sending the ball flying towards Link. Link managed to do a powerful midair slash , shattering it. Landing, Link immediately executed his final smash...

...which wasn't the one that everyone was expecting. Instead of trapping Ganondorf in a glowing pair of triforce symbols and slashing him like crazy before sending him flying, he pulled out a pair of orange sunglasses in an odd, almost boomerang shaped, and put them on. Then he started to glow green. _Then_ a stylized G (the very same from the incident several weeks ago) appeared on his chest, over where his heart was located. Finally, he Link rushed forwards with a roar to put a beatdown on Ganondorf.

GGG

Meanwhile, in the Hylian heavens, a pair of goddesses were watching the fight. Occasionally the red one would wince. The green one was just openly gaping. The red goddess, Din, turned to her sister, wincing as her champion was thrown around like a ragdoll. "Triforce of courage, a G-stone _**AND**_ Spiral energy? Isn't that a little unfair?"

Farore looked at her sister blankly for a few seconds and sighed. "Don't ask me, I didn't give him anything but the triforce."

"**SHINING FINGER!!!"**

"King of Hearts too?"

Din sighed. "Looks like I'm going to need a new champion..."

GGG

Yes, I didn't think I'ld come back to this. But later on something just bugged me. It was saying 'Same VA joke, same VA joke!' Adult Link is voiced by the same person who voices Guy Shishio og GGG as well as Viral in Gurren Lagan, for those who didn't know. The King of hearts thing was from Mobile Fighter G Gundam, due to a picture I've seen with Guy holding up a triforce of courage, the King of hearts emblem and wearing Kamina's Glasses, with the caption 'What Has Science Done?'

Anyways, SAME VA, IT'S FUNNY!


End file.
